Go for the Grand Slam
By John Futrell
Weighing in at an awesome 1,357 pounds World Wrestling Federation Superstars are the biggest thing in pop since Barry White, and these heavyweights aim to be the biggest thing in Christmas Stockings too.
Professional adversaries British Bulldog, Ultimate Warrior, Macho Man Randy Savage, the Undertaeker, and Bret "Hitman" Hart have taken time away from the wresstlin gring and teamed up with pop producer Pete Waterman, one of the music mogul's reponsible for hits by Kylie Minogue and Jason Donovan, to record Slam Jam.
The rap attack track is short on subltety or finesse and high on bravado and machismo, but it's sure to be a musical knockout with fans of the garish gladiators.
The backing track was recorded in London and the five wrestlers, just about the biggest draw in the business, added their vocals in Springfield Illinois, hometown of Bart Simpson and the clan. Each wrestler penned his own lyrics, listing all the mean nasty and downright painful things thhey intend to do to each other. Nobody is expecting awards for songwriting, bu tthere is no denying the WWF message.
Slam Jam comes from the one-day wrestling events that have toured both sides of the Attlantic and the ppowerslam techinique for driving opponents on to the canvas as hard and as painfully as possible.
It was at SummerSlam at Webmly Stadium in August in front of 81,000 fans, that Leed's gladitorial son, British Bulldog, one of the all wrestling/rapping champions, snatched the InterContinental title from his brother-in-law Bret "Hitman" hart. Hitman is a six foot Canadian from Calgary, who never steps into the ring without his sunglasses.
Bulldog works out for two hours each day and consumes a daily diet of eight egg yolks, a dozen bagles, pankakes, boiled chicken and medium steaks. He has wrestled for nine eyars but it took him a fortnight to recover from the Summerslam contest with his brother-in-law.
"I felt like I had been beaten with a baseball bat," says Bulldog who has lost over astone since that contest, "I'm coming down from that powerhouse look. As champion, I've got to defend my title and a lot of newcomers are much smaller and faster than me, so I need to lose the weight."
However bruising the match was for 29 year old Bulldog (aka Davey Smith), it was much worse for his Canadian wife Diana, who is also Bret Hart's sister. She had a ringside seat while the two men she loves knocked the living daylights out of each other.
"Davey and Bret first fought 10 years ago at a contest arranged by my father, who's a Canadian Wrestling Champion. Davey damaged one of Bret's eardrums, and Bret cracked some of Davey's ribs. The match lasted 45 minutes and afterwards they were both rushed to hospital.
"I wasn't looking forward to them meeting once again. Once away from the WWF they both try to pretend that it's all behind them and that it's only sport, but I know it isn't."
The WWF Superstars return to Britain next year for a contest at the Greater Manchester Exhibition Centre on February 2 to be followed up by a 16 date UK spring tour.
"I'm looking forward to the tour." Says Bulldog, "In Europe, the audiences are a lot more enthusiastic than in the States, where they are burnt out because they've seen it all. In England especially it's a whole new thing."
Slam Jam, with it's unveiled threates, taunts and machismo could be just the thing to turn on the heat at noisy WWF matches. And who knows, if Slam Jam takes off and other wrestlers decide to slam down tracks instead of opponents, the biggest battles to be fought could be in the charts.